Effects of dating on children after divorce dating by correspondence 1950s
“You can't heal unless you're on your own,” Tauber says.
“You need to find single friends to have a social life with.” Not only have you changed since you were last single, but so have your social life, circle of friends, and routines.
“It helped, because I got to see what 'normal' looked like,” Roché says.
“I also saw that my ex wasn't the only guy who would want to be with me.
JAMIE WAS 14 AND HIS SISTER, LAURA, was 12 when their parents told them they were getting a divorce.
Laura, on the other hand, seemed to have rallied; she was back on the honor roll and filled with enthusiastic plans for summer tennis camp. (The family is real; the children's names have been changed.) On the face of it, Laura might be expected to be more upset than Jamie, since she is two years younger. In a puzzling pattern that has emerged from research into divorces involving children, boys tend to take the failure of their parents' marriage harder than girls, take longer to adjust and show far more disruptions in behavior.“Some people date and even marry to try to prove something to an ex,” says Edward M.Tauber, Ph D, a California-based divorce counselor and co-author of Find the Right One After Divorce.They knew their parents had dissimilar personalities, but they had never heard them fight.
They were a close-knit family, and often took trips together, rafting in Colorado one year, touring Spain another. ''I felt like I'd been hit by a steamroller,'' says Jamie, now 15. That's all I knew.'' After their father moved out of their New York City apartment, Laura's marks in school went down, and six months later she failed for the first time to make the honor roll.
“This wildly varies from person to person,” says Judith Sills, Ph D, a Philadelphia-based psychologist and author of Getting Naked Again: Dating, Romance, Sex, and Love When You've Been Divorced, Widowed, Dumped, or Distracted.